14 September 2005

Hmm...

The Puppydrinker was reminiscing about someone else's slightly older article on memorials.

The first link given though is along the same lines. What struck me about it isn't the description of Britain thowing away it's culture, history, and liberty (both individual and national) in favor of feelgood politics and politicians. Barring another Thatcher, the UK will be a historical footnote. No, what struck me was this...
There are more admirals on the Service List today than there are warships in commission


The navy that ruled the oceans and trade routes efficiently for five centuries, repeatedly defeating much larger and better equipped enemies, could put an admiral in command of every one of it's warships and still have more onshore at home to issue orders. Most of the non-war ships are manned with civilians.

I recall seeing once, and I think it was Nordlinger who wrote the article I read it in (I tried to locate it but couldn't), that the Royal Navy, at some point shortly prior to the Falklands War, had more support personnel who never left dry land than it had sailors on boats. I don't know what the hell they're doing, but ruling the waves doesn't seem to be part of the plan.

British plan:

Live up to ancestors: No.

Surrender to France: Yes.

Goe, thinks those people are seriously fucked in the head.

13 September 2005

Hurricane News

I watched 'supernatural' or something on tv. was ok. flipped through the news channels afterwards and every friggin one of them had a reporter interviewing another reporter about damage/policing/relief. it's like if a blogger did nothing but link/quote other bloggers and had nothing to say themselves. fortunately, the only blogs like that are ones that only exist to sell ad space/search engine ratings.

Goe, still ad free!

To explain the substitute puppet

I would first like to apologize to sponsors, participants, and patrons of the Anenton Shakespearean Fortnight Week. Due to the difficulties with this year's Shakespearean Fortnight Week, it seems unlikely that we will be able to draw sufficient sponsorship to extend next year's event to two full weeks as we had anticipated. We shall continue to strive towards that goal in the years that come.

I am pleased to say that contrary to some rumors, Hope lives, and is recovering nicely at home. We haven't been able to find out why she fell off Juliet's balcony, but the railing will be rebuilt at a higher level. As promised, the balcony did not collapse this year, proof that our new carpenter is up to the task. We did include a warning that tragedies such as Romeo & Juliet are not advisable for young children, and next year we will try to arrange a monitored play area so that the parents have an alternative to bringing them into the ampitheater. Counseling will be available for those young children who attended any of the tragedies and were unable to cope with the subject matter.

Although head wounds can bleed severely, none of the Hamlet actors suffered any serious injury. I've been personally assured by the production medic that scarring will be minimal, enabling them to perform again next year. Another year of practice and we'll all think they came to us straight from Broadway.

I was told that it is customary for women in productions of some of Shakespeare's comedies to supplement their attributes. This is done to make claims about their attractiveness understandable to persons at the back of the audience. The actors who stuffed stuffed rabbits in their pants and proclaimed that they were "happy to meet" with the audience did so without any approval. Those actors will not be returning next year unless they participate in a sexual harassment seminar.

It fell to me to ensure that all of the events are appropriate for the Shakespearean Fortnight Week, and on the children's puppet show I failed in this regard. I was under the impression that the puppeteers understood that it was a Shakespearean event and that all participants were working directly or indirectly off of the works of William Shakespeare. I was not aware that the puppeteers were performing a puppet adaptation of 'Gladiator' until several of the other event staff members brought it to my attention. I contacted the sheriff's office and they intervened.

The cats only sustained minor injuries and are recovering at the local Humane Society shelter. The lion and tiger suits came off with sufficient turpentine, as did the cords used to control their feet. Contrary to rumor, there were no cords on the animals heads, as a starving cat will eat meat in the shape of a 'hero' of their own volition. Those wishing to adopt one should do so before the animals are euthanized in two weeks time. The puppeteers may claim that the cats were substitutes for puppet animals lost in shipping, but we will definately not be inviting them to return.

We have also filed a complaint with the talent booking service that arranged for them to join us this year, and are offering full refunds for the cancelled shows. We have thusfar been unable to get out of our contract with the puppeteers requiring us to pay for their production-related expenses, so we will be unable to refund tickets from the shows that were performed as scheduled until a later date.

Goe, apologizing for the substitute puppets.

ack

it's not a happy thought that mickey mouse supports genocidal tyrants.

Goe, hates commies.

meh redux

another impromptus. if they came in a box, i could collect the whole set.

Goe, tired of fish.

12 September 2005

Uber-meh

another impromptus. the last bit is just awesome.

Goe, can't focus when he's not busy... at least lately.

09 September 2005

Sad

What is FEMA doing to protect fat cats?

Goe, wants to know!

Spam Ho!

Got a piece of spam titled "Re: to explain the substitute puppet"

It gave me an idea.

Goe, will show you later.

08 September 2005

Nordlinger

has a new impromptus up.

Goe, knows the secret to avoiding bad air travel... don't travel by air!

07 September 2005

Was visiting


Spent the weekend visiting my parents. Here's a picture of my dad and his dog. It was supposed to be my mom's dog, but she usually ignores it.

Goe, didn't get any cool pictures of the beach.

02 September 2005

hurricanes

here is a link to some of the stuff that galveston did to protect itself from future hurricanes. new orleans is a much older city, has a lot more experience with hurricanes, and has done absolutely nothing to protect itself. i haven't a drop of sympathy for those people. they knew a storm was going to flood them out of house and home, it was just a matter of when and they never bothered to prepare. just like crapaud descendants to do nothing to help themselves but whine incessantly about how it's everybody else's fault for not helping fast enough.

Mother nature attacks, texans fight and the cajuns surrender...

Goe, because perhaps someone you know could sparkle and shine.

been busy

been really busy this past week. didn't even know about the mess louisiana made for itself until this evening. got another story a third done, will try to get it posted next week. it's more light-hearted and less 'true story' than grover's interview, so you'll probably like it more.

Goe, because the nearly man was nothing, he was never any use.

26 August 2005

unprepared

You'd think that Florida, being hit by hurricanes on a fairly regular basis, would be prepared for hurricanes to hit. Not living there, I don't know why they're not. It seems to me that some things would be so obvious as to be required of all buildings, but aren't (although these look better). build firehouses, armories, and schools like giant bunkers, with a few extra floors on top so there are survivable shelters above floodwaters. I'm not from Florida though, so I may be missing something. Maybe there's something in suntan lotion that makes prior planning a bad thing.

Goe, just wondering.

25 August 2005

A radio ass clown I can agree with.

"I don't feel guilty in any way. We won't start pitying Karla Homolka. She's not a poor, desperate woman. She's a serial killer. We don't understand why people would pity her."


Goe, glad he doesn't live in a country where it's considered rude to be against rapists.

23 August 2005

Grover's Interview, part one

Grover glanced around nervously before approaching the desk. Two security guards, both dressed in suits the same shade of blue as a policeman's uniform, sat behind a large window. They were both intently studying clipboards, looking up only when Grover stood right next to the small arched gap in front of one.
"Can we help you?" asked the guard, smiling up at him.
"I've got an interview at eleven" replied Grover, feeling a little skittish. The guard studied the clipboard for a moment before asking Grover to have a seat in the waiting room. He sat on a hard plastic bench and watched the security guards. The one to whom he had spoken made a brief telephone call, then returned to his clipboard.
Grover hoped it wouldn't be long. He'd arrived a half hour early, and walked around the parking lot until there were only five minutes remaining. He was a very patient man and could wait hours, but felt like an idiot sitting there doing nothing. His mind had started to wander when the guard called to him from the desk, cradling a receiver to one ear. "They've been in a meeting and will be out shortly." Grover nodded and checked his watch. It was half past eleven.
Doors began to open, and people came past. Some were being buzzed in by the guards, and some were going outside. All of them were wearing long white lab coats. He had only the vaguest notion of what was done here, but he was pretty sure it beat working at the monkey plant. He would be glad to be rid of that place.
"She didn't get the message and went to lunch. She'll be back shortly." the guard told him, holding the receiver in one hand and a donut in the other. Grover checked his watch again, it was now noon. He smiled and thanked the guard. He remained seated, smiling at the people milling past.
Some time later, a short, round, young looking woman in a large bunny suit came strolling up to him. She held out her hand and spoke. "Hi. Are you Grover? I'm Carol. Will you come with me please?"
Grover smiled, stood up, and briefly shook her hand. She turned and strolled off past the guards, Grover making it through the door right behind her. She led him through a maze of offices. The doors were all wooden, and their windows were blocked by blinds or construction paper. Signs with numbers and arrows were plastered all over the walls. They reached another lobby, this one with elevators and no visible exits to the outside world. Carol pressed a button and stepped into an elevator, Grover close behind.
"The interview will be done by Dr. Tibbles and myself," Carol said smiling. "Ms. Flosten can't make it, so it'll just be the two of us. We might as well get started now, how would you handle one of the researchers being upset with you?"
"I think that'd depend on why they were upset. I'd try to rectify it."
Carol stopped smiling. She scowled at Grover as if he'd just said something inappropriate about her mother. "I mean, some of them are a little disagreeable, not Dr. Tibbles of course, he's the best one, but if they were mad at you, what would you do?"
"I'd try to find out why they were mad at me and try to resolve the issue." Grover said, smiling more from amusement than politeness.
Carol went "Hmm," furrowing her brow and putting on an odd expression that made it seem as though her nose and mouth had shifted somewhat to the left. She crossed her arms and stared at the elevator doors until they opened. Grover had the feeling things weren't going well.
Carol stepped out of the elevator and skipped towards a hallway entrance. Grover followed and Carol pointed to the first door on the right. "We'll be doing the interview in there," she said tersely, before putting on a large smile and turning to a man in a cat suit who had been standing in the hallway, idly staring at a blank section of wall a few feet from a cork bulletin board half-covered with pastel handbills. "Hello, Dr. Tibbles!"
The man turned and looked at Carol, then took a step backwards. "This is Grover, we're going to interview him," said Carol, pointing over her shoulder with her thumb at Grover, who stood still and smiled. Dr. Tibbles didn't smile, but scowled at Carol.
"We're not going to hire him, do I really have to do this? I'm just here to talk to Stacey."
"She's in a budget meeting, and yes, you have to do the interview."
Dr. Tibbles scowled, then turned and walked down the hallway. Carol motioned to Grover to enter the room, which he did. They exchanged a few more pleasantries, Carol smiling again and bouncing around in her chair.

Goe, doesn't know when he'll put up part 2.

true story

a company which shall remain nameless on this blog once had a local office that they acquired in a buyout of another company. One of their new employees in the local office sent them a suggestion on how to save money by doing things a little differently. They rewarded said employee by giving him a case of soda. The employee, encouraged by the company to give them cost-saving suggestions, made another. He was reprimanded for the second suggestion.

His second suggestion? Have the soda bought locally when someone was being rewarded, instead of shipping it air-freight from the company headquarters half-way across the country.

Goe, heard about this second-hand.

Rachmeg's trip

how many times did you threaten the kids to pull over and/or come back there?

Goe, trying to have a good day.

22 August 2005

irked

I read this when it came out, it was linked in many, many places.

The guy is right. A lot of businesses are only comfortable hiring women. They'll hire men if they have to, but that's a last resort. They don't want men because men can be a disruptive influence in the workplace. If you ask a man to commit insurance fraud, you're going to have to bribe him. Women will do it just to be seen as a team player.

What women consider to be a team player usually isn't the same as how men view it. To most men I know, a team player is one who works for the best interests of the team. To most women I know, a team player is a sycophant who does what they're asked without question or hesitation, and discourages suggestions. In short, a puppy, always happy to see the rest of it's group, always thinking that whatever is happening is the most wonderful thing ever, never openly questioning any decision or command, more intent on fitting in than on getting anything done.

The groupthink that dominates in an office full of women may give the impression of productivity, but if you bother staffing with professionals, they don't have to like each other to get their work done. Women would rather be popular than professional, men are used to being unpopular and want a performance-based raise.

It hurts performance, it hurts productivity, it hurts the bottom line, but managers love obedient complacent employees. The BBC doesn't have to worry about it's bottom line, because it's anti-american propaganda is funded through taxation. A lot of businesses are running into trouble.

Your mileage may vary, but that's been my experience and I felt like ranting a bit.

Goe, tired of being told that thinking for himself means that he's unqualified.

me so mean

went and butted in on comments over at lum's. lum had a point in that the study really didn't relate to much of anything, but some of the comments seemed to be from people who think that human beings all operate in some sort of informational/ideological vacuum. on the not pissing me off side, i found this while getting some links for my comment at lum's. the once and future tyrant? it's weird how much religious imagery and rhetoric is at the heart of most socialist crap.

Goe, still hates commies.

ACK!

"Islam is a main source for legislation and it is not permitted to legislate anything that conflicts with the fixed principles of its rules."


New Iraqi constitution calls for islamic law, bin Laden celebrates, Taliban to stand for election, U.S. troops to be beheaded, U.S. ambassador expecting many virgins, Bush administration happy with Iraqi's 'take charge' attitude.

Goe, not happy that our middle-east policy seems to be 'go in circles. repeat.'

21 August 2005

Umm

Locally famous rock STOLEN by swiss seperatist group. Other swiss seperatist group denies responsibility.

Even the swiss can't get along!

Goe, didn't steal anyone's rock.

20 August 2005

Manners

I was over at my Grandmothers this evening, doing a bit of yard work that she's not up to doing, when someone I didn't know came up and asked me if any of his friends had talked to me about something (a competition I think). I said that they hadn't and he tried to give me a brochure, I said no thanks. He asked me why I didn't want one, I told him I wasn't interested. He asked why I wasn't interested, and I told him that I didn't care about it. Then he asked me why I was being rude. Why would I have an obligation to listen to a sales pitch? Why are we as a society so enthralled with marketing that what's being marketed is of a secondary concern? And why was the bastard interrupting the work I was doing? Rude asshat.

Goe, has no bust of Pallas above his chamber door.

19 August 2005

Cars

J. Craig Venter, the entrepreneurial scientist who mapped the human genome, announced last month that he intends to string together genes to create from scratch novel organisms that can produce alternative fuels such as hydrogen and ethanol.


From here. Why don't they engineer something to make gasoline? It would save everybody a lot of trouble. While hydrogen is a nice alternative, when they say hydrogen, they don't mean this, but this. Fuel cells remind me of electric cars, which I've never found terribly impressive or useful.

Goe, will be sad when cars stop going vroom.

18 August 2005

Karma

I saw a movie once, nice little character drama called Spring Forward. One of the characters, trying to change himself through eastern philosophy, tries explaining some of it to his coworker. His explaination of karma is that everytime you put a little good fortune into the world, a little good fortune will come back to you. His co-worker smiles and says "So what goes around comes around. I could have told you that."

"Instant Karma" isn't promised by most theologies. Rewards come after death, not before, but as we continue to develop the short attention span society, it's becoming harder and harder for people to wait. This brings me to this. I have no idea what church they're talking about, but how can they not have a malaise about waiting. "Superstar Christian Leader" isn't about waiting, it's about being recognized now as a wise and learned figure. It's not enough for us to just want stuff now, we want recognition and rewards now for things we haven't done yet.

Some people think that they should get recognition and rewards regardless of what they do or intend to do. Nothing is bad unless you want it to be, nothing is good unless you want it to be, nothing is sinful unless you want it to be, and if a diety gets upset at your behavior, they have to forgive you if you want them to. This is taking self-empowerment to the point where we are each a god unto ourselves. I know it's possible to be louder in ones boasting, but could a person possibly be more arrogant than to think that there is a god and it must cater to their every whim?

Goe, being a little philosophical.

i hate spam

i wrote a filter for thunderbird to toss out all email from netblocks that spammed me too much. works ok, but it doesn't help with the flood of commentspam (which doesn't appear to be over yet) that started with my last post (the one on kelo). i can see why some people encourage it though, it's artificially inflating the visit counter thingie down at the bottom. for many people, that's the only reason to post stuff.

Goe, hates spammers.