Battlestar HA!

Even Mr. Goldberg agrees. except that they missed the possibility of promoting Adama.

Goe, outthinking professional thinkers.

Conspiracies again

Watching the new Battlestar Galactica. Admiral Kane is recognized by all the major characters as being just as evil and dangerous as the cylons. The president encourages Adama to kill Kane. Why doesn't the president relieve Kane of command or promote Adama over her to the same effect? With the stroke of a pen, she could retire Kane and solve all of the problems they have with her. Instead, she encourages backstabbing. Why can't anybody make sci-fi without friggin conspiracies?

Goe, wondering if non-conspiratorial plots cause the writers great pain and anguish.

storyblogging.

new thingie up. kinda slow.

Goe, changing the side links a bit today.

Learning Curve

There was no window. Dr. Merril made a mental note to have windows put in all the booths before going public. Windows and a name, he thought, laying in the booth. He'd just travelled across the continent in a fraction of a second, had been doing so for months, but nobody on his team could come up with a name that wasn't already trademarked by a zealous entertianment company. He chuckled and made another mental note to ask marketing if they had a name. The technician should be opening the booth to let him out at any second.

---

Tom looked out the window at the technician. He was supposed to travel to New York, but the safety protocols mandated a local test every day. Someone had forgotten to disconnect the secondary local booth afterwards. It wasn't a problem, really. The technician could send him from here once they verified that the New York booth was closed. At least this booth had windows. The thought of sitting in the dark made him chuckle as he watched the technician disconnect the local test cabling. The technician turned and gave him a thumbs up, before pressing the send button.

---

A fraction of a second passed before the disfigured remains of Dr. Tom Merril weighed twice what they should have. The safety protocols were modified within hours.

Goe, la di di, di di di da.

wow

it turns out that nobody really wanted a hippopotamus for christmas.

Goe, sold his share in the hippo farm just in time.

mis-U.N.derstanding

Palestinians attack the United Nations club bar to show their solidarity with Mothers Against Drunk Drivers and Beautiful People.

Goe, not a damned damane.

before i forget

another storyblogging carnival is up.

Goe, forgets many more things than he remembers.

No posts lately

It's not that I haven't had anything to say, but that I've been reading a lot. Gotten many ideas to fold into the Generic Adventure, and jotting many things down that I will write/complain about later.

Goe, giving himself headaches squinting at all the little letters.

Henry

Sang Henry the VIII for two hours to annoy an annoying relative.

Goe, was not a farmer's dog.

The Good Fire

Was reading a book this week when I realized something I'd probably noticed before and never put much thought into. In religions (both from novels and the real world), light is a good thing. It's bright, it helps plants grow, many monsters are scared of it and a few can't move in it. Not so for fire.

Balrogs and other demonic creatures are made of fire and shadow. Hell is a fiery pit. If light is a good thing, does firelight not count?

Goe, puzzled by the enigmatic conundrum.

farking holidays.

among the recent idiocy over on fark was mention of the iranian president's most recent claims about isreal.

Iran's president suggests Holocaust didn't happen, but if it did, Israel should move to Europe

Over half the comments either claim the holocaust didn't happen, or that it happened on a much smaller scale than history indicates. Among those are people claiming that there are no reliable historical records of jews living in the middle east prior to 1948. These people are incredibly stupid, and that is why the New York Times is not afraid of Glenn Reynolds and his pajamamedia.

Pope denounces materialism from balcony of marble, gold-domed building in midst of jewel-encrusted religious icons while wearing giant gold cross

This one is sort of funny, but the pope isn't as hypocritical as they're trying to portray him. None of that stuff was bought for Christmas, and probably none of it was bought during this or the last papacy. But the materialism thing is right. Christmas is a very materialistic holiday. It's far more materialistic than any religious understanding of the holiday would convey.

It's not just Christmas though. What holidays don't have mattress or furniture sales? We're far more likely to see ads for flag day sales than actual flags on flag day. Labor day is more about outdoor cooking than about honoring a strong work ethic. Memorial day is about movies and mattresses, not fallen soldiers. Veteran's day is about cheap furniture, not the soldiers who protected us. Halloween is about candy and costumes, not scaring away evil spirits. Thanksgiving isn't about giving thanks, but about family, football, and turkey. Why does materialism only become a bad thing at Christmastime?

Goe, thinks it's a conspiracy against wrapping paper manufacturers.

Chomsky on Bush

So therefore you have... George Bush... this pampered kid who came from a rich family and went to prep school and an elite university. And you have to present him as an ordinary guy who makes grammatical errors, which I'm sure he's trained to make--he didn't talk that way at Yale--and a fake Texas twang, and he's off to his ranch to cut brush or something. It's like a toothpaste ad.

- Noam Chomsky, Professor Emeritus of Linguistics at MIT.

Both political parties and the media are far to the right of the general population on a whole host of issues. And the population is just disorganized, atomized... And that's why the media and campaigns keep away from (political) issues.

And here he's just flat wrong, the american public is smeared like a bell curve across the political spectrum. Politicians and the press don't avoid talking about issues, they love talking about issues. They avoid talking about philosophy because having an underlying belief structure of any sort will often conflict with party and local interests. Most of the public doesn't put thought into their own philosophy of government, focusing instead on specific issues, which encourages politicians to ally with whatever position their pollster tells them is most popular.

The only issue chomsky believes in is 'social justice', which is a left-wing way of ignoring their mothers. My mother often told me that life isn't fair, and I think it's a fairly safe assumption that most other people heard something similar from their own mothers. 'Social Justice' is the making of that unfairness illegal, so that everytime someone does not have a clear personal gain, someone else must be part of a criminal conspiracy to wrong that person. It's this concept of punishing the lucky and hardworking that turns every socialist state into a repressive nightmare, as any reward is taken as proof of guilt.

Goe, hoping that life will be unfair to his benefit.

No Nukes for Thou

The world should work to make nuclear weapons as universally condemned as slavery or genocide, UN nuclear watchdog chief Mohamed ElBaradei said on Saturday after receiving the 2005 Nobel Peace Prize.

- from here

So the UN believes that nuclear weapons should only be permitted in Europe, Africa, Asia, and everywhere else? Slavery and genocide are still fairly acceptable in the eastern hemisphere, although Chavez and Castro are working to make them fashionable on our side of the planet...

I would like to note that according to this source, the slave trade in western Europe is almost ten times that of the U.S., making the whole of the EU vastly more pro-slavery than the U.S., since most of their slave trading is done in eastern Europe. If immigration and employment laws were enforced, and border security tighted enough to prevent a terrorist attack, it would be impossible to bring slaves into this country. Any action taken to stop the slave trade anywhere would be taken as racist actions against non-domestic ethnic groups, and the people taking those actions would be condemned as racist by the 'international community', the same 'international community' that supported El Baradei's non-intervention in Iran's nuclear weapons program.

Goe, not hopeful for the future.

It's a conspiracy, I tells ya!

I love the Sci-Fi channel and reside in one of it's major demographics. It got more originality than any other channel, yet there's a pattern in everything it makes. Every show, made-for-tv film, or mini-series that is made for the Sci-Fi channel has a conspiracy/cover-up at it's heart. It's an annoyance that is spreading to sci-fi productions on other networks. Invasion, Threshhold, and Surface all have a conspiracy or cover-up. It's not just a cover-up for bad plotting, it is the plot. Our society is so obsessed with everything we individually disapprove of being forced on us by a vast conspiracy and that proof of our beliefs is deliberately covered up that the lack of a conspiracy or cover-up is less believable to us. Aren't man-eating aliens enough to make a sci-fi show interesting without the whole 'our greatest enemy is ourselves' message being thrown at us every few scenes?

This almost superstitious belief in grand conspiracies and the religious fervor with which our society claims that every individual is persecuted and threatened by these conspiracies are a greater threat to our lives, health, and happiness than any real conspiracy could aspire to, short of socialist totalitarianism (which, oddly enough, is NEVER the driving force behind any conspiracy on television, even in historial dramas).

Goe, thirsty now.

woohoo

someone else noticed the superman thing. still waiting for ANY mention that 'Munich' is a remake... they'll open their eyes someday....

Goe, not up for a weblog award.

Passion of the Superman

saw the trailer for the new superman movie. it left me with the impression that the film was going to portray superman as a christlike figure, jar-el sends his only begotten son to save us from ourselves... i found it a little disconcerting.

Goe, reconcerting.

It's all about PEACE!

Apparently, to have "peace", we have to be "beyond capitalism". and apparently regularly scheduled monthly meetings to discuss how capitalism flew planes into buildings and a secret cabal of jewish bankers were the ones who really bombed Pearl Harbor are each a 'special event'. maybe 'special' in the 'special education' sort of way...

Goe, can't go because he hasn't got a tinfoil hat.

carnival

storyblogging carnival is up.

Goe, should write more.

Bad Press

online news sites were talking yesterday about how letterman and oprah have settled their fued. apparently none of them watched enough letterman to figure out that the fued was a story letterman kept repeating on his show whenever he wanted to talk about anything oprah related. it seems that reality is something reporters can't be bothered with these days.

there are fictional stories by non-reporters, and a non-fictional impromptus.

Goe, feeling mlehish, not mehish.

alaskan driving

saw a vehicle that had alaskan plates while coming home from the store. was weird cause it looked more like a car than a dogsled.

Goe, making a funny.

China

Somebody noticed that China can kick our ass.

Goe, thinks it's good that someone is paying attention... if only it were our own government.

He's making a list

He's checking it twice.

Sauron will kill the naughty and nice.

Goe, does not have the ring of power or access to the fires of mt. doom.

The Ghost Who Saved The Holiday

The holiday was fast approaching. He didn't like the holiday. It was far too commercial for his taste. He'd been dead for slightly over a decade and hadn't grown the least bit fond of it. When he was young, he never knew it was coming until it had passed, but now the advertisements were everywhere he went.
"All you can eat!" yelled someone dressed up as a stick of pepperoni. The ghost walked around the barker and stopped to look at a gaudy sign that read "DON'T GO TOPLESS ON THE HOLIDAY." He turned and started walking when he realized a half-dozen annoying looking children were about to bound through him. He spun, half jumping and half falling, and was quickly on the other side of the shop window.
He hated children almost as much as he hated dogs, which prefered to urinate on anything he passed through. He'd spent two months moving through the apartment manager's door to get dogs banned from his building. He put a lot of thought into getting children banned, but had no plan yet.
He stayed in the same apartment where he had lived and died. The new tenants were nice, he couldn't help but like them, and he often tidied up while they were out or sleeping. They were currently trying out holiday recipes for visiting relatives. The holiday isn't about family, he told himself as the children passed by. He stepped back through the display window and headed down the street to a club with boastful signs of nude sauce wrestling.
He'd barely reached the door when a short rotund man stepped out, turned, and affixed to the door a sign. The fat man stepped back inside, closing the door behind him. The ghost, rather used to this sort of thing, stepped through the door and into the club.
The club was half full, the wrestling wasn't to commence for another hour. He liked to arrive early and peek in on the dressing room. None of the other patrons seemed very happy, and the girls were drinking at the bar instead of changing into their easily torn lacey undergarments. He didn't know what was going on, but it didn't look good.
He stepped back through the door to read the sign. "WRESTLING CANCELLED DUE TO SAUCE SHORTAGE" was written thereon in crudely stylized block handwriting. He hadn't heard anything about a sauce shortage and it seemed the sort of thing that might make the news. He hadn't bothered with the news for months, tired of the soap opera quality projected on every story, so he missed a lot of information.
He'd never heard of a sauce shortage befoore and would have normally thought it wasn't possible. The sauce came mostly by train. For a full month before the holiday, trains brought sauces of all types in from the farming communities. Most of the sauce was stored in a set of specially built warehouses near the railyard. As long as the warehouses and rail station were intact, a sauce shortage should be impossible. The ghost shivered when he realized what that meant.
He drifted as quickly as he could towards the warehouses, rising up so that his feet were just about the heads in the crowd. He could see crowds already gathered outside a police barricade as he approached. Several bomb squad trucks were parked nearby, but there wasn't any sign of an explosion or fire.
The ghost drifted into the nearest warehouse, and was stunned by what he saw. Dogs were being egged on by policemen as they limped across piles of broken glass and through puddles of sauce. Some of the sauce was so thick that it barely moved
as the policemen sank their arms into it, obviously looking for something. The ghost realized why the bomb squad had come. He looked around at the mountains of crates that hadn't been opened or searched yet. It didn't take a math genius, and he wasn't one, to figure out that the police would probably have to spend several days searching each warehouse for a bomb, if there was on. Several of the dogs began barking at him, and he slid back through the wall.
He drifted over to the next warehouse, and floated inside. The police hadn't gotten to this one yet, the crates were intact, and the sauce unspoiled. He drifted from crate to crate, sticking his head inside, looking for anything that might spoil what little holiday fun there was to be had. Naked women could wrestle in sauce any time of the year, but they only did so around the holiday. He saw nothing unusual in the crates, just sauce in large barrels, small glass jars, large plastic bottles, small aluminum cans, and small plastic bottles made to look like glass jars or aluminum cans. He peeked into every crate in the building, then drifted through a high part of the wall and into the next warehouse.
The police weren't in the third warehouse either. The ghost began peeking in crates again and found something in a large wooden crate that was circled with thick metal straps. Instead of holding jars of any size or type, it contained a large metal box. Wires came from many parts of the box and went into a smaller metal box on top of the larger box. The smaller box had a number of flashing lights and what appeared to be a small clock radio that kept blinking "12:00".
The ghost drifted back outside and into the first warehouse. He lowered himself so that his feet were in the floor, and floated back to the bomb. He wasn't suprised to see that nothing followed him, so he floated back to the first warehouse, trying to follow the path he had just taken. He had travelled back and forth several dozen times before the dogs began to take notice, but it took a few dozen more trips before the dogs were pulling their handlers along the invisible trail.
When the dogs reached the bomb, they took turns urinating on it while the other dogs barked and the handlers tried vainly to pull them back towards the first warehouse and the gooey mess inside. The ghost knew it was time to go home when the police began to scrutinize the crate. He had done all that he could, the sauce would be distributed as soon as it was safe, and Pizzamas would go on as always.

Goe, never got around to writing more Pizzamas carols.

History channel

A history channel show just described congress of the late 40's as having an "almost irrational fear of communism". How can the fear of something that killed over 100 million people even come close to approaching irrational.

Goe, doesn't wanna die in a 're-education center'.

Carrottop

This blog is now one of the top 25 results for "carrottop" on both msn and google.

that just isn't right.

Goe, confounded.