11 November 2007

it grates

actual conversation about favoritism by managers.

me: the shit grates.
bossman: yeah
me: i mean the shit grates. i don't know how because shit is actually kind of gooey and it shouldn't grate.
bossman: not if you eat a lot of corn.
me: even then, it's still gooey.
bossman: what about a lot of fiber?
me: even then. maybe if you were dehydrated and ate a lot of fiber.
bossman: what if you ate glass?
(5 minutes later)
me (to bosslady): bossman and i were discussing the viscosity of feces.
bosslady: that's disgusting. ewww. gross. eww.

Goe, will panacea for fun and profit.

08 November 2007


trying to write a new bob story.

Goe, very stressed.

06 November 2007

more stories

werewolf one is cool. you can find a link here.

you can't find one here though.

Goe, just pointing out the obvious.

25 October 2007

stories n stuff

More stories.

Goe, cause reading is good (and the bonodminton one is pretty freakin' cool).

09 October 2007


there's yet another storyblogging carnival up.

Goe, providing linkage and whatnot.

08 October 2007


Was riding the train to the store and overheard part of a conversation about lawn mowers. It seems that the people having the conversation were in agreement that the safety bar (the one that you have to hold or the lawn mower shuts off) is a poor idea as a person may need to mow their lawns with their hands full. Do these people have a habit of carrying things around while trying to mow their lawns or did they just chew on a lot of chinese lead paint? The really annoying thing (so annoying that I got off and caught the next train to finish my little journey) is that while in agreement, they were trying to out-do one another in their understanding of how ludicrous the safety bar is. The good thing is that Crazy Guy was going to work on the second train and we were able to speak briefly. Later on, I saw someone else I knew from even before the Long Ago.

Goe, watching the last of his rented movies.

02 October 2007

The War

Being a history buff, I was interested in the new ww2 documentary running on pbs. working umpteen hours a day made it a little difficult, and i've thusfar only seen about fifteen minutes of one episode. i wasn't impressed with what i did see. ww2 wasn't defined by racial tensions in defense plants in mobile, alabama, and if you make a ww2 documentary that can go without mentioning any of the combatant nations besides the united states for 15 minutes, you're probably leaving out the big picture.

Goe, clicking on 'PUBLISH POST' in 5...4...3...2...1...

19 September 2007

overheard on the sidewalk

so i'm walking home from work a few days ago, and i pass this kid and his mother trying to load stuff into a car. the kid (whom i'd guess was 10-12) is telling the mother that the case she's holding won't fit. she said something to him in spanish, and he replied 'then try it, lesbo'.

Goe, thinks it'll be hard to keep that one off his lawn.

15 September 2007

odd ad

was poking around online and saw an ad repeated several times on one page. the ad was for a charity and one of the messages it kept throwing out was "and remember, unlike prostate cancer, generosity won't kill you."

a little too close to "give us money or die painfully" kind of theme going there...

Goe, not worried about dying cause he's not a puny mortal like YOU!

30 August 2007

26 August 2007

8th day

my 8th day of jogging and I went four miles this morning. will do that all week then try for six next week.

Goe, feelin' a might bit peckish.

25 August 2007


so I took up jogging this sunday, and the last three days I was able to go two miles, going to see if I can up that to four this coming week.

Goe, weirded out at the moment.

24 August 2007

Trick of the light

The place I go running at has a park bench every quarter mile or so. Today I was running past one and it looked like it was made of a translucent orange plastic. It was a green bench, sitting in front of green bushes, and had been poorly repainted orange. Made me go wtf? for a second.

Goe, tired of not working.

21 August 2007


To make up for the exercise I'm not getting at job#1 these days, I've taken up jogging. There's a park with a trail through it within walking distance from where I live, and while there yesterday there was an incident of squirrelly interest. There are signs indicating quite plainly that the squirrels are not to be fed by park-goers, but this obviously happens anyways because the squirrels like to come out of their trees and follow a few feet behind people utilizing the trail. Yesterday, the day mentioned prior, three squirrels began to follow me as I was going along the trail. I looked back at them and saw the closest one turn and chase the other two off before resuming it's vain pursuit of goodies I didn't have and wouldn't have shared with a rodent in any event.

Goe, knows that even though everybody wants something from him, it's only sometimes funny.

20 August 2007


My account on the Hollywood Stock Exchange, a hollywood-centered investment game, is now worth over $340 million of the fake investment money. It's probably been close to a year since I've even looked at it, it's almost all based on solid investments I made several years before that.

Goe, amazed himself.

18 August 2007

Perils of Peeping

He stared at the form. It was the same form he'd been filling out for 5 months, with only a few label changes from the previous form, which itself predated his 7 years of employment in this office. He knew this form intimately. He even dreamt about this form. His entire life seemed to be wrapped up neatly in the inviting yet limited rectangles, the attention-getting but forbidden hash marks of the 'for office use only' portion, and the large margins that made it appear independent, self-contained.

He kept staring at the form, with only a general idea of what was supposed to go into the next box. He glanced briefly at the stack of papers near the corner of his desk which gave him all the relevant information. He glanced briefly back at the half-completed form. He chose to look past the rectangles, the hash marks, and the margins, and pushed his chair over to the window instead.

There was another margin outside. The sidewalk, many floors below, teemed with life. He knew that the maintenance closets were the hash marks of his life, and his office was his rectangle, which he filled nicely in spite of recent revisions. He watched the people mill around at street level, watched the cars and busses make their way through downtown traffic, watched a falcon perch on a flagpole protruding from another building. He started to look for her.

She normally worked in the office across the street from his. He didn't know if she was young or old, pretty or homely, smart, or funny. He could only see general size, build, and colors through the semi-reflections of her windows. Yesterday she had worn a red blouse with black pants, today it was a white blouse with a tan skirt. He didn't remember seeing that particular skirt before, but for him she was just an idle distraction, so he returned to his form.

After finishing several more forms, he felt like taking a break. He looked for her, but she was not in sight. He sluggishly rose from his chair, and wandered to the break room, stopping to chat with a few friends on the way. In the break room, he purchased a cup of coffee from a machine that made bad gourmet coffee and a box of small donuts from a machine that usually sold nothing but candy. He sat down at one of the tables, and looked out the window.

From here, he could see into what appeared to be a conference room. There were five people in the room, and she was one of them. They appeared to be moving the chairs towards the door. Suddenly, all five backed away from the door, scrambling over the table in the middle of the room. He stood up and walked over to the window to get a closer look.

There was, in the room across the street, a pile of chairs in front of the door. He could see the pile shaking, and the people appeared to be going hysterical. After a few seconds, light began to come through the door, as if holes were being knocked in it. As he stood and watched, the door disintegrated, and what appeared to be giant chickens began ripping the chairs apart. They only sort of looked like giant chickens. They appeared to be the size of a man in a reddish brown chicken suit, and they appeared to be hopping like he'd seen pigeons do in the local parks and plazas.

He continued to watch as the chickens circled the large table, as more flowed into the room behind them. He started to count them briefly, but stopped when their incessant jumping made that task impossible. Two of the five people had gotten back on the table, surrounded by the chickens. The other three appeared to be in a pile on the ground, being pecked at.

One of the chickens at the pile stopped pecking and leaped onto the table. The two people on the table, startled either by it's movement or the human foot sticking from it's mouth, ran for the door. He couldn't see what happened to them clearly, but he was pretty sure they didn't make it.

"Am I interrupting something?"

He turned around. One of the new guys from marketing had come into the room, and was standing in the doorway, holding the door open. "Excuse me?" he asked, knowing what had already been said but stalling for a few moments to refocus his attention. He could see the marketing guy start to speak again, but all he could hear was the clucking noise coming from down the hallway.

Goe, needs to thank somebody.

17 August 2007


not very many people stumble this way, but 'assmuncher' is the leading draw for people who come via search engine.

Goe, will fight evil for food.

16 August 2007


scratch that last bit about probably going back, i'd definitely go back if they apologized and told me to get to work.

Goe, has a work-ethic stronger than his ability to handle work-related stress.


quit job#1, now just have a job#2. not good. they treated me like crap but i liked the work and feel like there's some huge gaping hole in my life now even though it's only my second day not there. it's like hard work is a drug and i'm going through withdrawals. i'm not at all sure i did the right thing and if they asked nicely, i'd probably go right back.

Goe, still miffed that people feel obliged to harsh on his mellow.

15 August 2007


i've never quit a job before. going to give notice at job#1 this evening. i'm tired of being one of only two team players in a group of eleven when the others, including management, root for me to fail and try to sabotage what i'm doing so that i will fail.

Goe, feeling kind of queasy about it.

13 August 2007


going to ask for a transfer at job#1 tonight, got laughed at for working hard by full time employees who then started bragging about how little work they actually do. tired of busting my ass so they can get paid more, so gonna try to work in a different area with hopefully more attentive management. hopefully this will go better than my attempt to transfer in job#2 (which failed miserably but did net me a fancier job title.)

Goe, an unhappy non-camper.

09 August 2007

A couple of things

Firstly, there are pigeons at one of the bus stops that I frequent, lots and lots of them. They wander around like tiny turkeys or chickens. There are also small brown birds there, but they don't move like chickens but rather like the rats or mice their coloration more closely resembles.

Secondly, I hate people and wish you all a most painful death.

Goe, unwell.

06 August 2007


nuking any city paris hilton happens to be in is also fine with me.

Goe, has a pro-nuke policy.

Nuking Paris

Paris was on the 'to nuke' list several times for assorted reasons. That list having met it's demise with the collapse of the nest, I've not bothered to try resurrecting it. It occurred to me, though, that every spy film I've seen that were made recently held to 'the enemy within' theme. The only exceptions are some of the Bond films, but even the last few of them hinged on having 'good guys' turn out to be working for someone else or pushing some evil agenda. Barring WW2 spy films and the earlier bond films, I can't think of any spy-thriller where the good guys actually all were. (the jack ryan stories came to mind just as I wrote that, so it's not all, but even the ww2 set film 'enigma' had a traitor or two). What does this have to do with nuking Paris? It was the damned frogs who came up with using cynicism as a form of societal suicide.

Goe, not writing as much as he would like to.

30 July 2007


Sometimes, when I ride the bus from home to job#2, which only happens once or twice a week, there's a guy who gets on the bus about halfway to work who smells. Not as in needs-a-shower-homeless-guy smells, but once he smelled strongly of ketchup, and saturday evening he smelled of roses.

Goe, lives in a very strange world.

28 July 2007

in dreams

had a dream in which i tried to explain to someone the fallacy of believing in stuff that happens in dreams.

Goe, getting ready for work

25 July 2007


Almost every night, as I travel from job#1 to job#2, I transfer twice on the local transit system. Almost every night, on the last bus I ride, which I reach at varying times depending on when I get out of job#1, there are the same three people already riding the bus. If I'm early, they're usually early, and if I'm late, they are usually likewise late. It's kind of creepy, although I don't know if they hide in the bushes when a police car drives by.

Goe, noticing such things.

18 July 2007

bus stop intrigue

8 people standing at a bus stop. police car drives by, three people standing at bus stop, five people hiding in bushes.

Goe, doesn't like this neighborhood.

11 July 2007


Crazy Guy goes around flexing at work, like a bodybuilder posing. Other people flex back, equally in jest. Sometimes, I do as well. Yesterday...

Me: It would probably be more impressive if I was wearing a wifebeater.
CG: Probably.
Me: It would be less impressive if I were a wifebeater.
CG: Probably, unless you were a wifebeater wearing a wifebeater at a convention of wifebeaters giving a lecture on wifebeating, then you'd be with peers.
Me: I'd end up in jail trying to not get a new boyfriend.
CG: Or... (almost falls over laughing)
a minute passes...
Me: Hold that thought.
another minute passes...
Me: Well?
CG: Or you could be a wifebeater in prison wearing a wifebeater looking for a new boyfriend because your old boyfriend beats you.

Goe, at least we kept the rabid raping baboons and dog vomit out of the conversation.

10 July 2007

A regular event

Yet again last night, while working at job#1, I look up to see two managers talking just out of my earshot, with one of them staring at me. It happens a lot now, several times a week. Sometimes there's three managers, sometimes Crazy Guy is with them, but they talk and stare. It's kind of creepy. On the plus side, since we work in a building without climate control or breezes, they've been providing us with popsicles on the 90+ days during our break.

Goe, needs to get some water on the way to work.

09 July 2007


I'm smitten with Fair Visage, who doesn't date co-workers and seems to be a bit off in the head. :(

Goe, having a good day anyways.

train trevails

had some free time so i went downtown to run some errands. on the train trip downtown, a sort of cute girl kept staring at me. usually i'm just ignored so the abnormality of being stared at forced me to muster all of my self-control to not laugh at the poor girl. on the trip back from downtown, two drama queens got into a slapfest, complete with friends recording said slap-fest on cellphones. my mellow was harshed.

Goe, wants you to stop harshing his mellow.

05 July 2007

got promoted

a few weeks ago, i got promoted at job#2. instead of being a part-time employee working 40 hours a week there, i'm a full time employee working 40 hours a week. plus 25 hours a week at my other job and i'm way too frickin' busy to visit strip clubs like my co-workers seem to think i should.

Goe, with a life embellished by Kafka.

04 May 2007

no end in sight.

more posts will come. i promise.

Goe, was up to his knees in dead hamsters and running low on ammo when...

02 May 2007

the train wasn't running for an hour when i was trying to get home after work tonight. but i didn't have to wait an hour for the train because my boss kept me around just long enough extra so that i had to wait a half hour for the bus to the train before waiting a half hour for the train. serendipitous.

Goe, waited in the rain that started as soon as he walked out of the building.

30 April 2007

working my way back to someplace i've never been

applied over the weekend for promotions at job#1. was told that i should apply for a promotion at job#2 later this week, which i probably will also. getting more sleep these days as well. life is good for now.

Goe, drinking some soda.

assmunchers right ahead!

new storyblogging carnival up over theres someplace.

need sleep.

Goe, going to eat some dinner first.

17 April 2007

livejournal vs. myspace vs. blogger.

other than myspace having way too many friggin ads, they're all about the same but mostly incompatible.

Goe, wondering why technology keeps us apart.

14 April 2007

talked to big boss, was mostly blown off, he let a few key things slip about why/how and i called him on a couple of things, but mostly nothing came of it.

Goe, trying for the even keel.

13 April 2007

more workplace drama

or maybe not, big boss was in a meeting yesterday, and had today off, so nothing came of anything yet.

Goe, waiting.

12 April 2007

beeeg change

was talking to someone overnight while working and waiting for the big boss to show up so i could give notice and they pointed out that passing me over without my consent was a violation of the union contract. talking with someone else later on and was told that the person who was promoted over me was screwing stuff up so badly that they weren't likely to be kept around long, let alone kept in a position of any authority. then the big boss was in a meeting all morning, so i couldn't talk to him anyways. feeling more optimistic about the situation, but still unsettled.

Goe, seems likely to be staying at job#2 now...

11 April 2007

xferring woes

the hr person at the place i'm trying to get xferred to won't speak to me, and the manager just sort of politely blew me off. going to give notice and look for work elsewheres.

Goe, unhappy.

10 April 2007

la di da

didn't get around to going back, but slept until it was time to go to job #1. then the bus from there back to the real world was 50 minutes late. took forever to get home. hungry, tired, annoyed. there's also the whole angry, bitter, and hateful thing as well.

Goe, wishing the whole clocktower sniper thing was an option.

Xferring impediments

still trying to get xferred to another location of job#2. stopped by this morning and the hr person wasn't there, but is supposed to be back this afternoon. starting to get the impression that they're blowing me off much like the people i'm working for now. very disheartening.

Goe, tired of getting his ass busted for busting his ass.

09 April 2007

nutless assmunchers ahoy!

so the guy who is getting promoted at job#2 for doing nothing at all is going to get promoted again for again doing nothing at all. he kisses ass a lot and now that they've let us know that he's going to get promoted again, everyone but me seems to be kissing his ass, two of the other qualified guys getting passed over went on a beach trip with him, he doesn't have to work weekends because it interferes with his social life, and soon he'll be off graveyards for the same reason. meanwhile, I'm expected to bust my ass on weekends and graveyards and be happy about having no option of doing anything else.

Goe, not happy with this.

all work and no play

getting completely fucked at both jobs. rewards for working hard? yes, i work hard and someone else gets rewarded. pisses me off so much. grrrrrr.

Goe, angry.

03 April 2007

Is Big Brother really watching you?

32 security cameras within 200 yards of George Orwell's former home. 32 government owned/operated security cameras.

Goe, fighting against IngSoc.

31 March 2007

Howdy Stranger

It's me again. Am much better adapted to working 13 hour days lugging heavy things about on three hours of sleep and negligible nutritional intake. Will re-write 'It Started With Goats' sometime this weekend and post it since there doesn't seem to be an existant copy anywhere that I know of. Job #2 decided that even though I work twice as hard as most of my co-workers, I'm not doing enough to be considered for promotions that I was promised for doing far less, so I'm trying to transfer to another location in the company. My boss at Job#1 said that he'd make a full-time space for me if I wanted, but that only means an extra 5-10 hours a week there (I usually do 25-30 and they cap 'full-time' employees at 37.5 because corporate is terrified of overtime pay). On another note, low-level managers at Job #1 make almost twice what I do, and I already meet most of their qualifications...

Goe, changed some stuff on the right --->

24 February 2007


Heard a song at job#2, with "you've got legs to the left, legs to the right, and you're the only girl in town." and i developed a theory that the girl in question is lucky to be the only one in town, or else every other girl in town would kick her ass since she can't keep her legs together. but since it's country-westernish and legs is pluralized in either direction, it could be a cow someone found attractive. it's all just conjecture at this point.

Goe, should be going to bed.

06 February 2007

Crazy guy

for some strange reason, at job #1 Crazy Guy was employee of the month for january. it's strange because usually they pick someone who doesn't actually do anything and he works really damned hard.

Goe, was surprised.

27 January 2007

I am not all things to all people

but sometimes, for a little while, I can fake it pretty well. My managers at both jobs have started to treat me like a panacea. It would be nice if it came with a raise or recognition or something other than just bouncing to and fro fixing other people's work in addition to doing my own. It would also be nicer if those other people weren't getting the same raises and recognition I'm not getting, but life isn't fair.

Goe, needs to be looking at job openings again.

26 January 2007


Never rains but it pours and all. while sick with the flu, i forgot to leave the padlock on my locker at job #2. last night, i lost my keys. turns out that the padlock is still at home, so i have access to my locker! already talked to apartment management about replacing my other keys, so all will be fine in goe's little world soon except for the Curse of the Constantly Shedding Kitty.

Goe, has more to say but needs to get some sleep because he has to leave for work in about four hours.

24 January 2007

spoke too soon.

posted that i wasn't dead yet, then BAM! influenza pays a visit. still not dead, but not as alive as i would like either.

Goe, was napped on while napping.

13 January 2007

not dead yet.

kk, moved in mid-november, finally got internet service again (part of cable tv package, but the tv part isn't working yet for some reason...). woot. now if there was only someway to download sleep...

Goe, still working two jobs and getting better at both.