23 December 2008

rosetta stone

seeing commercials for "rosetta stone" software. they say that nasa uses their software to teach people languages. why? why nasa? i can see the state department needing people to speak multiple languages, but why nasa?

Goe, thinks money is being wasted.

22 December 2008


a reporter just said "hallucinization".

Goe, saddened.

18 December 2008

bad drivers

there seems to be an increasing number of software drivers for usb devices that won't load properly if the usb device is disconnected and reconnected, or the computer rebooted. it kind of defeats the point of usb if you have to uninstall and reinstall the drivers every time you want to use a given device.

Goe, annoyed.

11 December 2008


died. dead bicycle. pining for the fjords.

Goe, not sure how he's getting to work in the morning.

26 October 2008

my bicycle

took apart most of the back tire and replaced some spokes. wheel rim bends more than some rivers, but now i know how (and have the tools) to straighten it, just not going to do it today.

Goe, learning new things.


Windy out, was almost blown over several times while coming home from work. is a warm wind, appreciably warmer than the otherwise chilly early morning air.

Goe, needs food.

25 October 2008

another day

another dollar. off to work i go at this late hour. spent part of today learning to fix bicycle wheels since i rely on them for my commute. will do/learn more tomorrow.

Goe, off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of paychecks.

14 October 2008

new job

new worksite is cool, new co-workers are cool (some are just really fun people), keeping my seniority and contact with the cool crowd amongst the trailer trash of my former coworkers is also cool. went with one of the cool former co-workers to see Henry Rollins last night. Was fun, but i missed some needed sleep. he also tended to veer pretty far into smear attacks on people whenever his discourse touched on politics. also, he thought john adams was president in 1898.

Goe, cause the Spanish-American War was 1898.

03 October 2008


starting at a different location for the same company next week. left the old one (and the assholes who worked there) for the last time this morning. yippee!!

Goe, feeling optimistic.

04 September 2008

The Suspect

Why do the reporters talking about crime stories talk about what the suspect did or didn't do? they're not talking about a suspect, they're talking about what the criminal did or didn't do. there is no suspect until they suspect who the criminal is. reporters are idiots.

Goe, needs more sleep before working tonight.

21 August 2008

Fourth of a trilogy

I've seen three movies this year made to add on to an existing set of three films, making them the fourth of a trilogy. In each of them, the b storyline is about what the hero has given up to keep saving himself/others/the world, and how he wants it back. In each of them, at the end, he does get some of it back, mostly because of the respect they garner saving others/the world yet again.

Goe, never saved the world, never will.

11 August 2008

Storyblogging XC

Another assortment of stories courtesy of Mr. Crankshaw.

Goe, readin'

08 August 2008



why does the larger penguin appear to have handles on its wings?

Goe, curious.

27 July 2008

Yellow Plastic Mice

It's a convention of yellow plastic mice. The obvious answer to this would be large plastic cats.

Goe, needs to rest up today.

08 July 2008


so the jogging thing kinda fizzled, partly because i was being lazy, and partly because there's only so much you can do going in a circle. a coworker is into bicycling, and wanted me to ride around with them, so i bought a bike and did this. the exercise felt good and it was much easier to get to places i normally don't bother trying to even locate. so i decided to try riding the bike to work monday. took 45 minutes to go five miles. on the way home, it took 40 minutes. feels far more productive than running in circles.

Goe, biked down to the fireworks last week.

02 July 2008

Jim Gilchrist

Jim Gilchrist of the Minuteman Project is a cockless assmuncher who won't stop spamming me with his political crap even though I've asked him to stop.

I hate that crap and that nutless asshat.

Goe, hates that crap.

01 July 2008

Stories, et al

More stories listed out by Mr. Crankshaw.

Goe, prolly gonna buy a bike.

28 June 2008

A few hours at OMSI

"Are you a tsintaosaurus or are you just happy to see me?"

These little fella's obviously hadn't evolved turtle magic yet.

This one really is happy to see you. Seeing you means lunch!

Goe, wondering who turned the heat up outside.

Rise of the potato

There's not much to be said for potatoes. There is also very little to be said against potatoes. Small and mundane, they just are. Most people don't think much about potatoes, unless they happen to be growing or preparing some. Like a thousand other objects, they float through our lives almost unnoticed.
There once was a magical potato. He was from a small backyard garden in what passed for the suburbs of a small city. He came into being in much the same way that other potatoes do, except that he was aware. He was aware that he was a potato, that there were other potatoes, and that the other potatoes were larger than he. He was slightly jealous of the size of the other potatoes, but most importantly, he was aware.
His life was not difficult or filled with great hardships. It was mostly boring. He lay in the dark and grew. He could not converse with the other potatoes, they were potatoes and couldn't talk. He could hear conversations though, loud boisterous conversations drifting down through the soil from the world above. A world far larger and better lit than he could have ever imagined.
He grew. Over weeks and months he grew, until he was an average sized potato. One day, something bit him. A passing insect, one of the few subterranean travelers to pass close enough for him to see, was trying to burrow into him. It was the first time he had felt pain, and he didn't care for it at all. He was unable to ask the other potatoes for help with the bug, and lacking any instincts at all, he had no idea what to do about it. When it bit him again, he bit back and ate the whole creature.
Potatoes are not normally carnivorous. They usually subsist on nutrients delivered through the potato plants that bring them into being. This potato though was magical. He was capable of doing a great many things other potatoes could not do. One of these was to eat. He had never seen another potato eat anything, and surprised himself by managing the feat at all. Even more surprising, he enjoyed the taste.
The potato began to change. He grew in ways that normal potatoes normally do not. He developed an appetite for insect, eating any that came his way. He began to understand the discussions wafting down from above. With every passing day, he felt more aware, more alive, more powerful.
He wasn't powerful enough to stop the natural cycles of time, and his first autumn was fast approaching. As he lay where he always lay, thinking about what the future might hold in store, he felt a rumbling nearby. Not the tiny vibrations of a doomed bug, or the slow thumping of something moving above the surface, but almost a regular shaking that was growing slowly stronger. He could hear potatoes yelping as if in pain every few seconds, but could not see what was happening.
This continued for a few minutes, then, when the rumbling seemed almost upon him, a potato he'd been adjacent to his whole life shifted away, vanishing into a wall of dirt. He felt something nick his skin and he tried to bite it, but it was too large to eat. It withdrew quickly and then lunged in again, this time behind him. It pushed him a few inches, the earth collapsing in behind him. He found himself exposed to sunlight for the first time, but a hand grabbed him and tossed him into a bucket before he could comprehend this.
More potatoes followed, and his circumstances came to an almost surreal familiarity. He was again surrounded by potatoes and soil, but the potatoes were more numerous and the soil was sparse. The removal of the others would have not bothered him as he did not enjoy their company, but he now realized how much he loved laying in the soil. He became angry at the thought of something doing this to him on purpose, and began to plan his revenge.

Goe, thanking Rachmeg again.

25 June 2008

Picasa is my friend

Headbutting to extinction, next on FOX!

You want a piece of me?

Chompy McChompersons will be your partner on Dancing with the Stars.

Good thing it's not a living room, or someone might not notice the elephants.

Goe, having a good day.

21 June 2008

Not OMSI yet

This bird is double-dog daring you to think he's got a cute tuft.

Ninja Bird silently mourns his failed mission and capture.

Ninja Monkey prepares to leap onto an unsuspecting woman.

ZooAss.com, for those who love animals in inappropriate ways.

Goe, was planning to go out today but will go tomorrow instead.

19 June 2008

More from the Washington Park Zoo

Meerkats doing what cats do best.

Mr. Bat is making his move...

It's important to do a daily operator pmcs on your elephant.

Goe, found some missing stories courtesy of Rachmeg.

18 June 2008

Ninja Monkey at the zoo

Ninja Monkey with a bear.

Ninja Monkey trying to demonstrate why mimes should never be spared.

Ninja Monkey testing a potential student.

Goe, needs to buy another samurai sword for Ninja Monkey

16 June 2008

Milling about

Leash laws are important, but only if they're pretty.

A volcano lounges in the afternoon sun.

Goe, had a really nice weekend.

15 June 2008

Rose Garden

Mt. Hood over the Rose Gardens

The mountain is ready for it's close-up.

A blooming lamp post.

Goe, got a little burned on a good day.

02 June 2008

A Plan, a man, a glitch

I had a plan about taking the guys to the zoo some coming weekend. Was going to go this last weekend, but made other plans on account of indeterminate weather. Now I can't find the guys. I'm hoping the cat didn't swat them under the couch or something. May have to take the ninja lego monkey instead.

Goe, concerned.

24 May 2008

The Park and other things

Took the guys to a couple of parks this afternoon. Went to Mill End's Park first.

They are so small, it's hard to get them in focus. Darth kept mocking me until I threatened to feed him to a squirrel.

We left Mill End's Park and went to Mt. Tabor instead. We found a lamppost in the middle of nowhere, but no wardrobe to be seen...

Goe, did notice a lot of stairs.

18 May 2008


there's some sort of mini-marathon of shows about freemasons on the history channel. most of it is generalized history and conspiracy theories, but every now and then, as if by accident, they let slip something about a freemason ideology. it seems to be mostly a straightforward realistic ideology that i happen to share (at least in common with what they 'reveal' on tv).

it's like when math geeks say that the universe is written in math. it is. doesn't do me any good because i don't know calculus. most people don't. i try to explain it to people when explaining related matters as 'life is physics', momentum, leverage, inertia, etc. the masons seem (again, based on what they 'reveal' on tv) to have formed an ideology based on this compatible with the understandings of medieval stonemasons who didn't know calculus and lacked a scientific vocabulary to explain their knowledge of physics.

Goe, wonders why the aflac duck gets more girls than he does.

06 May 2008


to the Flea.

Goe, predicting it'll be a dorky nerd.

27 April 2008


I don't. I'd like to think it's because it's too much pressure on me, but really it's because I don't agree with anyone running for anything on more than a few issues. If I vote for Candidate X because they promise to reduce crime, I don't want them to assume that I'm supportive of expanding corvee labor.

Goe, not standing athwart history.

25 April 2008

whole lot o shakin

the earthquake swarm off the coast that made the news a few weeks ago faded away, but another swarm started, and this time someone with some know-how is checking it out to see if it's a new volcano, old fault line, or monster.

Goe, should go to bed soon.

21 April 2008

The Moon

the moon was out when I went to work. clouds were drifting by it, reminded me of the cheesy moon clips they use in werewolf movies where you see a bright spot in the clouds, then the clouds drift to the side and then you see the moon, with one or two small stringy clouds in front of it. it was kind of weird in that the clouds, as they drifted to the side, didn't drift smoothly. it was very stop'n'go, like it was an overlay with malfunctioning rollers that someone was running across the sky.

Goe, because my thoughts are not your thoughts.

18 April 2008

Walking along

Was walking to the store and someone came running up alongside me and then slowed to a walk. Was weird, so I looked at them and TA-DA, it was Crazy Guy.

Goe, may enlighten you someday with what he remembers of the Rabid Babboon conversation.

10 April 2008


someone has been instructing people i work with to not speak to me.

how is that not reprisal?

Goe, annoyed.

08 April 2008


I know lots of people who love cheesecake. I don't mind it but it's not something I would go out of my way to try. Saw some on sale at the store a month or so ago and thought I'd try it to see if I notice anything that I missed before, like flavor.

I didn't. Bland, gooey, etc., but now I keep finding myself wanting cheesecake. I still don't like or dislike it, I just want to eat it.

Goe, thinks it's weird.

07 April 2008


It's now my fault that coworkers have access to my managers email and read stuff that they shouldn't have.

Goe, disconcerted and discombobulated.

06 April 2008

harassment humor

people i dont know and don't work with but see every few weeks at work have been asking me about a relationship between my boss and a coworker. a relationship that is a major factor in my harassment complaint and denied by management.

Goe, because when strangers know, it's not a secret.

05 April 2008

harassment again

got a new manager, part of the reason things have been better. saw some coworkers being ... less than sincere. left him a note to that effect, and he gave that note to one of them. now they're all mad at me. and the new manager has forbidden me to talk to hr. :(

Goe, stressed.


storyblogging carnival is looking for some.

Goe, been too busy to write.

03 April 2008


same distance in 20:52

could have been faster but am trying to not push myself hard. it seems that overachieving at even menial things alienates a lot of people. the problems caused by alienating people via overachieving outweigh the benefits of overachieving.

Goe, becoming a big fan of his new boss.

02 April 2008

jogging again

restarted jogging now that the weather is getting nice again.

two miles in 23:15. really bad, mostly because i walked about half of it. will do better next time. took me a week to get to four miles last summer, so not a bad re-start.

Goe, cookin' dinner.


Mugabe's party lost control of the zimbabwe parliament. this is a good thing. now to see if the new guys can avoid the greed and powerlust that dominates and decimates africa.

Goe, saddened to see so much potential crushed under tyrants.

26 March 2008

leggo my lego

found obi-wan kenobi, will take him and darth maul to omsi whenever i get around to going. had lost darth maul a few days ago and found obi-wan while cleaning yesterday.

legos + dinosaurs = good times.

and a big head-honcho type guy stepped into the mess at work, spoke softly to a few people, and put a stop to it, so work is fun again!

Goe, wishes he were more constructively creative.

24 March 2008


for some strange reason, i eat more when i'm not working than when i do. it's not that i just eat when i'm bored like in the ago, or that i eat only because i need to like in the long ago and the time before the long ago. i actually get hungry now. have been eating twice a day for most of the last month. how people can eat three times every day still eludes me though.

Goe, doesn't understand how he's not anorexic either.

18 March 2008

more zoo pics

Darth Maul with an elephant

Three grown men "washing an elephant" in public

Nick Nolte-mugshot goodness

Goe, still planning on taking Darth Maul to OMSI.

14 March 2008

chuck and larry

rented it. it's okay, it's like a remake of an older film. seen a lot of those lately, where it's a whole new film, but the main and most subplots parallel an older film. "I want someone to eat cheese with" is like a remake (and references) "Marty", and "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry" is like a remake of "A Gentleman's Agreement", but in each case, the new one is funnier but missing much of the poignancy of the original. a lot of the discrimination from "a gentleman's agreement" didn't get carried forward to the new story.

Goe, should get some sleep now.

darth at the zoo

He's so vain, he probably thinks the zoo is about him.

This is Darth with some hippos that he'd subdued. Apparently, they're accomplished sumo wrestlers on some worlds. not this one though.

A penguin tries to eyeball Darth, not good thinking.

12 March 2008

Zoo today

Went to the zoo today. lots of people with small children in strollers. some of the animals look underfed and underexercised. noticed a lot of electric fencing inside the regular fencing. it's probably always been there, but i'd never noticed it before. also saw three grown men scrubbing and rinsing an elephant. not something you see everyday. the elephant seemed happy about it.

Goe, was at the zoo, didn't see it all happening.

28 February 2008

harassment "solution"

the company solution to my discrimination complaint is that i'll be fired if i work too hard, if i don't work hard enough, or if any co-workers think i'm scary looking. i fail to see how this is a solution to anything other than my continuing to work there.

Goe, baffled but glad he already filed the eeoc complaint.

27 February 2008


people who know absolutely nothing about my work-related problems are giving me job leads elsewhere for higher-paying positions. woot! the work-related problems are, thanks to a union rep who takes names (no ass-kicking, goe does not abide workplace violence) probably at an end. so woot!

will be nice of one of the other jobs pans out. would be nice to win the lottery too. =-]

Goe, has hope for nice things.

26 February 2008


someone expressed interest in the generic adventure, so i went back and reread what i'd written. needs some re-writing but im thinking about picking up the story again. granted, i've already got a half-dozen or more unfinished stories, but what's the downside?

Goe, up too late.

21 February 2008

union does good

heard back from the union rep, who was confused, asked a lot of questions, and was very supportive. they're going to follow up on what's been going on since management chose to negate an understanding that they had about me. no 'get over it' from them, so yay! this is good news.

Goe, has some hope for the future.

if it's not one thing

it's another. am sick. work stress isn't helping, but i don't think that's what made me sick. oh well. heard back from a couple of people i really wanted to hear back from on the work thing, but they didn't have anything new to tell me, just asked some questions to clarify their understanding of what's been happening. maybe a light at the end of the tunnel, maybe a train... dunno.

Goe, not well enough to eat.

20 February 2008

harassment redux

Thanks to a link provided by Kate, I've filed a complaint with the EEOC about the reprisals/retaliation that my managers have embarked upon. Not supposed to hear back for close to a month though. Tried to call my Union Rep to see if they had something more substantial to say than 'get over it', but no answer. Sent an e-mail to the company mailbox for harassment complaints since calling the phone number doesn't get you anywhere. On the plus side, got a tip on a job that pays better. One of those jobs where you have to know someone who already works there and only find out about from them.

Goe, gratz to Kate and Sanya on their respective babies.

15 February 2008

writers strike

speaking of useless unions, now that the writers strike is over and production on tv shows and movies will resume after months of nothing new, how many people won't notice a difference? so last week every tv show was a rerun of something made several years ago, and next week every tv show is a rerun of something made several years ago but with different actors and character names. except of course for the Dali Network, where plate ferret moose.

Goe, chillin' betwixt Kafka and Dali.

14 February 2008

harassment reprisal

okay, so i made a sexual discrimination complaint which it turns out isn't considered an issue where i work, but just a form of harassment, so it became a harassment complaint. this annoyed a lot of the people i work with. management said they'd look into it, then told me that there was nothing worth following up on. then they told me that i just needed to get over it and would be fired if i harassed anyone, did anything that could be construed as harassment, or made any reprisals against my coworkers or management (such as making another harassment complaint because it hasn't stopped).

Goe, noticed that more work = more threats of being fired, less work = managers drinking buddy.

10 February 2008

whee i guess

work nights. cant sleep today. made a sexual discrimination complaint over three months ago at work. was blown off by pretty much everyone because i'm not what could be described as one of the cool kids. since everyone knows i made the complaint, they've changed it from being heavily preferential treatment to the women who work there, to being detrimental treatment of just me. i'm not happy. only one person i work with can manage more than half my workload and they are leaving in a few weeks, but everyone else gets breaks twice as long as mine and is praised for doing a fraction of the work (one person can't manage a third but is sleeping with one of the managers, so everyone but me thinks it's okay that they don't do much work, write their own schedule, and take breaks of extra length and frequency). what really sucks is that we're a union shop, we pay union dues, and the union's position is 'so what?'.

Goe, needs a new job.

05 January 2008

Bob and the Pool

Bob swayed. He didn't sway like a drunk or dizzy person but in the fashion of a tree swaying in the breeze. There was no breeze, but Bob swayed gently, trying to cool himself off in the warm, still air. The wind had not blown noticably for two weeks and the last rain was three weeks before that. The elephant stared at the inactive sprinklers recessed in the withered brown grass on either sode of the pair, moping.
Bob observed the elephant carefully. He'd never had a pet before, a few excessive squirrel families and once a pigeon consortium, but never an actual pet. He had developed some affection for the animal. He found its habits interesting and its dietary intake astonishing. If it weren't for the truckloads of hay that the daycare provided daily, it might even have been possible for the elephant to be malnuirished. Growing their own foliage would reduce any animals need for food, but Bob understood that people and elephants were far too obtuse to understand such things.
They also didn't have the sense to grow roots, something even the most idiotic ferns can manage with ease. This left the elephant in his rather morose and parched state. Bob tried to think of ways to improve the animal's spirits and even tried singing to it several of the songs they had overheard from the children of the daycare. Bob surmised that nothing would work until the rains came back, and even then the elephant would only be pleased for a few weeks before it wanted the sunshine to return.
Bob forced his attention to a more pressing issue: water. The elephant needed some and he could use some more himself. There was a river on the other side of town, but it was difficult to navigate both traffic and powerlines with an independently minded elephant in tow. There was a fountain nearby, with a basin large enough for both he and the elephant to soak. He watched the elephant shift about in its melancholic state and then Bob began to uproot himself.
Traffic was disrupted in the usual manner, in accordance with what one might expect with a tree and its elephant walking down the street. Bob was careful to wait at red lights, having had several close calls between the elephant and large trucks, but the journey was only a few dozen blocks and over with shortly. Some people gawked and others took photographs, some cursed the congestion and were quietly pleased to see the elephant and tree moving out of sight.
When Bob and the elephant reached the fountain, they found it infested with small children, similar in size and shape to those of the daycare, even if none of them were familiar as individuals. With some nudging, jostling, coaxing, and a generous distrubution of balloons, Bob and the elephant were able to secure for themselves some space in the water, with each of them splashed upon by jets spraying from the fountain.
The fountain was a pool, about thirty or so feet across, give or take, and about a foot and a half deep, taking or giving whatever had been given or taken from the aforementioned diameter. Water would spray up from jets cleverly concealed as small holes int he floor of the pool, in a pattern than changed rhythmically, but slowly enough to not startle the small children prone to playing in such places.
Bob eased himself into the pool and began to absorb water, while the elephant hopped about in circles, first counterclockwise and then the other way round. This hoping action, which Bob surmised was not beneficial to the pool, came to a slow stop as the elephant dsicovered another way to play. He began to suck up water with his turck and spray it on his back. The children laughed and cheered as the elephant showered himself. Being desirous of such adulations, the eelphant began to shower the children as well. Each spray yielded screeches and screams of joy. The children laughed and encircled the elephant, yarn balloons bobbing all around him.
As the others played, Bob studied his environs. The buildings nearby were taller than most. Most were taller than anything Bob had seen before moving into town. People gathered and stared. Some took pictures of the elephant, some of Bob, and some of the children. A short, skinny man with irridescent yellow eyes even poured some sort of powder into the pool. This didn't strike Bob as any stranger than what everyone else was doing, but it was very strange.
As Bob watched, large bubbles began to appear around the base of each of the jets of water. Large irridescent bubbles with a yellow tinge and an exquisite reflection of their environs. Bob tried to pop one with a low branch, but instead of bursting, it slowly collapsed and vanished into the foam. Bob reached for another only to see the bubbles shift away from him. He tried again at another jet and again the bubbles shifted away. This struck him as odd behavior for a bunch of bubbles, but odd behavior in things that shouldn't have any behavior was far too common around people.
Bob leaned over one of the jets and encircled it with larger branches. This kept the bubbles from getting away while giving him a chance to look at them up close. He realized two things very quickly. The first was that the bubbles weren't reflecting part of their environment, specifically the tree reaching over them. Instead of a reflection of his trunk, each bubble had what appeared to be an iris, the foam was a multitude of unblinking eyes staring at him. The second thing he realized was that his roots were losing their strength, making it harder for him to stay upright.
Fortunately for Bob, something he had not anticipated but should have known would happen did happen. The elephant, having filled its belly with water and in a cheery mood more typical of Michelle, the daycare manager, needed to void its bladder. Being an animal, it did so where it stood, in the fountain. The children laughed, screamed, cheered, and vacated the pool in short order. The bubbles staring at Bob began to dissolve near the elephant and Bob's root strength began to come back as well. Bob waited until the pool had returned to normal and then went home with a disconcerted feeling of having just encoutered something conifivorous.

Goe, bigger than a breadbasket.