Attack of the Comets

I'm sure that by now you've heard of the recent strike against a comet, and the resulting lawsuit. I would like to point out that the comet is not expected to veer off course and impact the Earth. Instead, it will fly back out to the Oort Cloud, aka the Cometsphere, where it's experiences will be relayed to other comets via a combination of talkshow appearances and Instacomet postings, until the other comets have been angered and come charging in at us. Fortunately for us, the abandonment of serious space exploration by our government three decades ago means when the comets get here, Europe and China will be the guilty-looking parties.

Goe, not being very serious.